It's easier to blend in. If you stand out and are a problem, the group will just ditch you rather than help you. At least that's what my mind tells me. In my own twisted way, I ask for help less when I need it. I feel like a burden and I don't advocate for myself. I don't know if it's out of fear of abandonment, or a deep seated belief that I shouldn't be a problem due to anxiety over conflict. The likely answer is the world isn't black and white, so it's probably both of those answers, and others. I'm in the unique position in my life now where I am most in need. I will be moving on from college and will lose that last certain element in my life. My career is taking me to the most expensive cities in the world, but the market for jobs is horrible for my field. There is a lot that is changing, a lot that is uncertain, and a lot that is terrifying. I need help figuring out life, and even the smaller things that happen day to day. But can I ask for it? Or will I just melt back into the darkness?