I'm pretty good at being shocked by life. I'm not great at reading the room and being able to tell what other are thinking based on their outward expressions. I don't entirely know why I miss them. For the longest time I've had my biography as, "I hope I'm following the walkthrough correctly," a comedic reference to videogames where you follow a guide to get the good ending; in this case the game I'm playing is my life. But I don't have a guide to lead me through it. I try to put my best foot forward at all times, but I'm scared about the ramifications if I slip up somewhere. One word, one action, one tiny mistake locks the path. So when I focus on myself, when I try to play the game, I get blindsided. I have learned, though, that I can't remain pessimistic all the time. I previously thought a good mindset would be to think that nothing will happen, and get surprised when it does so you aren't let down when whatever it is doesn't arise. I'm changing that, as I now believe that I'd rather be optimistic about the future. Expect the best, because while the disappointment when things don't work out stings, it's better than being depressed all the time. It's better to be blindsided but live happily than get hurt in a self-fulfilling prophecy.
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